How to talk to an anxious child about the dentist

A little nervousness is normal, and how a child feels about the dentist often comes from what they hear beforehand. The good news is that a few small changes in how we talk about it can make a big difference.

How we help in the chair

Pediatric dentists are trained in behavior guidance, and the most widely used technique is called tell-show-do. We tell your child what is next in simple words, show them (on a finger, a stuffed animal or your hand), and then do exactly what we said. No surprises. We also use praise for every brave moment, distraction and, for very anxious children, gradual steps over more than one visit.

Words to skip

Even reassuring phrases like “it won’t hurt” plant the idea of pain. Try to avoid “hurt,” “shot,” “needle,” “drill” and “pull.” Our team has kid-friendly words for everything, so it is fine to say, “The dentist will show you.”

The night before

• Read a picture book about a dentist visit, or watch our five-step visit preview together
• Play dentist: count your child’s teeth with a small mirror, then let them count yours
• Keep it matter-of-fact. Big buildups can make kids more nervous, not less

In the parking lot

Stay calm and positive. Avoid promising a big reward for “being good,” which can suggest something bad is coming. Instead, plan a small fun thing together afterward, whatever happens.

Tell us ahead of time what helps your child: headphones, sunglasses for the bright light, a quiet room or the first appointment of the day. Our comfort plan on the Kids Dentistry page lets you send this with your booking.